Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
