Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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