it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
