I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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