my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
