fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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