We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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