Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
