using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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