She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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