DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A+ Viking dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
