i think i have herpe
just one?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
