made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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