Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
