I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
