I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
