Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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