if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
