I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
