what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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