was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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