i think i have herpe
just one?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What a dumb baby whore.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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