There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
