Umm I'm too high to move.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
