He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
