I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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