dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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