The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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