If i come over, it means nothing
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
