dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
