I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
