I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We had sex on a dog bed..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
