FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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