So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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