wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
be right there i have to get my cape
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
