how can u be prego again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
