problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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