my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
