I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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