Grow some girl-balls and come out already
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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