Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
