You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
how does that bad decision feel?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
