When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
