i think i have two assholes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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