My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
