I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
