is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
