Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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