This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
