it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
