Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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