I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
