Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
