Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
