also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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