so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
