This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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