I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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